How to Have a Normal Sex Life with Herpes

Having genital herpes is a life-long condition. It is not something that will ever be cured, or run its course. But you can enjoy a normal sex life with herpes. Your primary goal should be to establish a symptom-free state. Your second goal to understand how to recognize the smallest signs of an imminent herpes outbreak; your third goal, I will tell you more about at the end of this article.

Before you do anything, you should first discover if you really have herpes and if so what type of herpes you have. For this you will need to undergo a herpes test carried out by a qualified physician. Common herpes types can affect either the oral or genital area. The type of herpes you have and where it is located will determine whether you are more or less likely to transmit herpes. The greatest risk of transmission comes with genital herpes type II, closely followed by oral herpes simplex virus I (HSV-1). If you have herpes type I, you are far less likely to transmit genital herpes than if you have HSV-2 genital herpes, though you can transmit oral herpes during oral sex. There is a lot of information on herpes transmission, and some of it can be quite confusing. However, if you understand what level of transmission risks apply to your situation, you can filter out erroneous or inappropriate information.

Once you know which type of herpes you have, you can focus on returning to a normal sex life with herpes. To do so it is essential to remain symptom free. Normal sexual activity can only be resumed once you are free of symptoms. It is not enough to protect your genital area or your blisters, sores and rashes in the hope you will not infect your partner. You should refrain from sex during an outbreak and avoid all contact with the infected area. Many people with herpes can identify the early indications of an impending outbreak. There are hallmark signs that are specific to the individual. These include things like fever, fatigue, muscle weakness and aching. Unfortunately, you may have to experience several outbreaks before you can pinpoint these tell-tale signs. I have found a method that can make things much faster for you.

Herpes outbreaks often recur most frequently during the first year after infection. Pay attention to your body signs regularly. This will help you understand any signal that a herpes recurrence may be imminent. At the first sign of any symptoms, you should stop having sex. Even though this may result in some false starts and stops, you must persevere until you have reached the zero herpes symptoms point. You may possibly continue experiencing some form of itchiness. Itching can occur for many reasons, but it will not usually last long, and should not disturb your sex life with herpes too much.

I have created an entirely safe and natural suppressive therapy program that can eliminate most outbreaks I sell it on this website at You can also try medical suppressive therapy, but I do not believe this is worth the risk of long-term side-effects.

Unfortunately, getting rid of genital herpes symptoms is not enough. Herpes can still infect your partner even though you may have no visible signs of herpes on your skin. This phenomenon is often referred to as “asymptomatic shedding” and explains how someone with herpes might unknowingly infect someone else. Fortunately, there are ways in which you can significantly reduce asymptomatic shedding; one is by paying attention to even the tiniest signs of an impending herpes outbreak.

Experts have determined that the number of herpes virus shedding days, and consequently the risk of transmitting herpes, is highest in the first year after infection. That is why I think it might be acceptable to take medical suppressive therapy during this time, but only alongside the combination of natural remedies which I recommend. These two combined therapies will help you return to a normal sex life with herpes as fast as possible without putting your partner(s) at too much risk.

Because your sexual behavior influences your sex life, I advocate choosing a supportive partner with whom you can grow. A steady sex partner who is supportive and understanding is extremely helpful for people with herpes. You must disclose the fact that you have herpes regardless of your fear of rejection before any form of sexual contact with your new partner. Let your new partner make up his or her mind as to what course of action to take. If (s)he decides to go along with it, the fact that you disclosed your situation actually reduces the risk of transmitting herpes. If you are both willing to refrain from having sex at the smallest signs of herpes, and you are taking appropriate suppressive therapy, you will be able to resume a normal sex life with herpes after a few weeks. It has been scientifically established that it is people with undiagnosed herpes who run the greatest risk of transmitting herpes.

Often the biggest frustration of your sex life with herpes is the fact that you must use latex condoms. A recent study found that the use of condoms only reduced the risk of herpes transmission by 30%. So you might wonder if, after a few years together, it is still worth bothering to use them. I know I did, and I must confess I did not always. You and your partner may choose to forego the use of condoms, but this will increase your risk of transmitting herpes, and so it is something you must absolutely decide together. This is not a decision I can make for you and I would certainly not advise this approach in any new relationship. All I can say is that I did not transmit herpes to my partner despite the fact we did not use condoms all the time. I do, however, always recommend the use of a water-based lubricant. Decreased friction helps reduce the risk of micro-ulceration of the skin. Some women also report that friction during sex can causes herpes recurrences.

I hope this article has given you an idea of how it is possible to have a normal sex life with herpes.
If you take all the steps above, you will be more than likely to enjoy greater intimacy and have a great love life. Herpes does not have to rule your life. It certainly does not rule mine any more. To enjoy success with preventative techniques may take some learning and persistence, but in the end it’s all worth it.

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2 Responses to How to Have a Normal Sex Life with Herpes

  1. fay says:

    You forgot to mention two things that I think are very important, especially to people who have just discovered that they have herpes. Firstly, over 50% of the population has herpes, and also, there are people out there who just do not care whether or not you have herpes. I told one of my ex boyfriends that I had it, and although he believed he did not, he still went ahead and had unprotected sex with me. (I know I’m sharing a little too much information, but open discussion is important as far as this is concerned) secondly, chances are that your prospective partner may also have herpes. More than once I have prepared myself for the awkward talk, only to discover that the other person also had herpes.
    Five years ago, when I first found out I had HSV-II I really wish I had this information, because it would have made it a lot easier to be open with my partners. When someone loves you completely, chances are they’re willing to share everything with you, including herpes.

  2. NFOY says:

    I do agree that many people will accept to have sex with someone infected with herpes. Most of the time, it’s our own fear of rejection that causes most problems. When you’re cool about it many people will accept to have sex with you any way.
    I would not recommend having unprotected sex unless you were involved in long-term relationship though.

    What you may not realize is that some people feel so ashamed of having herpes that they avoid relationships altogether. I know some people feel cursed never to have a family while others like you and me don’t make herpes a problem. Herpes is not a real problem to get involved in a relationship but it is perceived as huge stumbling block by some. I’m happy to hear that’s not your situation.

    From the figures I have. About 80% to 90% of the adult population has oral herpes and 16% to 25%, genital herpes. I don’t know where you got that 50% number.

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